Hello to you!
This week has been the longest ever.
My car kicked the bucket on Saturday so we are in search of another that fits our “no debt” policy, but isn’t also 18 years old. It is annoying as hell because my husband and I are complete opposites.
I swear he must have been asleep since 1999. He still rocks his Nirvana shirt, plaid button-ups with Lee jeans…
…wait a second. My teenage daughter also wears clothes like this. It is quite possible my husband is “on-fleek?”
Enter Twilight Zone music and all the voices in my head going into mass hysteria.
What a week to be without wheels. It is finally feeling like spring, my youngest child is getting stir crazy and I have a friggin parcel at the post office. Said post office closes at 5pm and Husband does not get home until 530pm.
This is my life right now.
A parcel at the post office IS LIFE.
Since becoming a Stay at Home Mom I have discovered something amaaaaazing.
I don’t go overboard. But when I do manage to get my bank account looking decent, I splurge a little.
I am pretty sure my post office notice is a golden ticket for either A.) a new hair straightener (2 years overdue) or B.) A makeup haul!
I have never ordered makeup online, but I am seriously addicted to a couple of make up groups on Facebook and they are a bad influence.
It has been so long since I felt the need to buy new makeup – I almost felt guilty.
Anyone who knows me in real life knows I basically look like Napoleon Dynamite when I wake up.
I have the Ginger Curse of white eyebrows and eyelashes. Waking up next to me can be quite a shock.
There was a time, starting roughly around age 13, when I would not even leave my parents’ dooryard without full face. God forbid if some feller was driving down my road at 80km per hour and managed to glance at my translucent-non-makeup face. I am not sure if they would have even been able to see if I had a face driving at that speed, but teenager logic prevails all scenarios.
As I got older, I definitely still kept up my “No, I always look like this” appearance.
Unless we were close friends and we either went: camping, swimming, working out , or I accidentally stayed overnight when I was supposed to go home then you saw me with foundation, eyebrows, eyelashes, blush. BARE MINIMUM.
Then I got a little hermit -y following my last pregnancy and birth.
The attire for being a stay at home mom requires little effort. My toddler does not judge me, although sometimes she does like to feel how squishy my stomach is and I definitely fabricate some sort of judgement coming from her. Self-image is a serious thang.
Anywho, cue the sweatpants and no bra, no makeup, no hair did look.
There was actually a running joke in our family that Husband would come home and I would be in my underwear.
He would say, “oh, no pants today?”
I would just look at his working-out-of-the-home ass with contempt.
Then I decided I had to do something. I don’t know what happened. Maybe I had just had enough of taking care of everyone else and decided it was time to take care of me for a while? I decided I was going to start doing more things that I, MYSELF, loved.
I love to paint, sing, play music, work-out, and I love being semi-girly.
I threw out all of my granny panties! (OK, I still keep one pair for monthly purposes)
I bought a new bra. I got a new outfit and a pair of goal jeans. My goal jeans fit now too.
Now I sit and wait for my new makeup. THIS IS LIFE. Well this is my life.
You might be sitting there thinking, “really? A bit of makeup and new Walmart undies makes this lady’s day.”
Well, eff you.
When you go so long taking care of others it is really easy to lose track of taking care of yourself.
It is a common issue amoung new parents. Hell, it is common to anyone who has to put others before themselves – whether they be taking care of a loved one, or their job is tending to others needs. That shit is tiring.
What I have learned, truly, is that when I take care of myself I am a happier person. When I am a happier person, I am a better mom, wife, friend, daughter. I have time for other people now because I am not constantly exhausted by the idea of having to take on another person’s emotions, time or energy because I have my own outlets now.
I have been working out consistently since December and man do I feel the positive differences. I have hypothyroidism so getting started was a huge hurdle, but it happened and I am so happy now that I started exercising regularly again.
I even started meditating on a regular basis. I have never tried this before and it felt a bit weird at first, but it actually helped me learn to relax and slow down a little. I do it for around ten minutes per day. I have been lacking lately, but I am definitely going to keep this as a practice.
I hope any of you who find that feeling of guilt or shame that can come with self-importance can let go of it.
I had someone tell me I was self-important once, and I thought it was such an insult.
It is not. When you put yourself on your priority list, it has a domino effect.
ps) I will update with my post-office haul once I have wheels!