I have not been writing very much lately because I honestly have not felt the pull to do so. There are several reasons why and some of them are so deep that I can’t even explain them as they are just feelings that have no words.
I have been dealing with some pretty heavy negative self-image issues lately and every time I sat to write this post, I couldn’t get the words to flow from my heart to my fingertips.
Every time I write a blog post, I pour a lot of energy into what I want to convey to you readers. I sometimes walk around my kitchen-living room loop talking out loud to myself while I make sure the words come out perfectly. Sometimes when I am in bed at night I send myself little text messages with ideas or phrases I want to include in a blog post… because I know I can not rely on my sleep-deprived memory alone.
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“Spring is just around the corner” – I keep trying to convince myself that there is truth in that statement, but I am having a very difficult time with the last few weeks of winter.
Yes, I understand it has been a long time since any posts have been made here.
I have been working on things outside of this blog that have taken a lot of my attention and I love it.
I am a woman who craves success. I want it so badly with every endeavor I take.
The only problem is that I often feel like any time I see myself achieving that success or praise, I recoil. I tuck my head and tail together and limp away before anyone discovers that I am actually full of shit.
It wasn’t until about a month ago that I learned there is an actual term for this feeling. It is called “Imposter Syndrome” and it goes a little something like this: