It has been a full month since I awoke on the last day of January as a new and complete woman.
I opened my eyes on that day and declared, “without any excuses, I am going to start having my shit together and my ducks in a row.”
…OK y’all. If you are really believing that crap, then *gasp* you don’t know me at all.
What really happened when I woke up on my 33rd birthday?
Answer: The same thing that happened every day since I turned 32.
I don’t feel any older. I don’t feel wiser and I certainly am still waiting for everything to “click” into place.
Am I abnormal? Shouldn’t I have things figured out by now?
Answer: I am probably average on the scale of abnormalities and I bet there are many people in the same boat as myself – trying to figure themselves out. I keep telling myself “its fine… its fine” and I dust myself off and try to continue with my projects and slugging through the hurdles that come my way.
Am I looking forward to what is to come?
Answer: Yes. 100%.
Some days are harder than others when you feel a little lost. There are days when the excitement of being able to do ALL OF THE THINGS is so empowering! Then there are those days that bring you down because choosing one of those things to do means you actually have to make some concrete goals. When you are a little flippant, then you are given all the opportunity and time to get things done – it can be overwhelming to decide how to make the most of it.
I am a creative person, but I also have the attention span of a squirrel. Sometimes my goals and ideas are nothing more than puffs of smoke in my mind and then I never hear tell of them again. This is why I almost never tell anyone what my ideas or goals are – I don’t want to fail them once I become bored or lose interest.
THIS is what makes this blog so much more to me than a place to write down my feelings and overshare with strangers. (like…gimme some likes and shares y’all) This blog has been a learning experience for me in a ways I didn’t expect.
I learned I can take an idea and make it grow. I can make that idea anything I want it to be as long as I put the hard work into it.
You may notice some changes here at Waking Up Thirty.
The layout is slightly different. My logo has changed. I have moved my homebase and am learning the ropes. Things are happening here.
I really hope you will all keep following this journey that began with me just hammering some feelings into my keyboard and hitting POST. I am planning on having so much more come from this site and it makes me excited and nervous all at once.
There have been so many of you that have commented, left me messages and shared my posts and I am so thankful that there are people out there who get it. This site isn’t just about you all learning another weird quirk of mine every time I write an entry – I find that too self-serving for me.
OK, I did start this blog as an outlet for myself, but after a while I was finding that instead of writing just for me, I wanted to write for others too.
I want to write for the lady who stopped me in the grocery store and told me how much she enjoyed reading my posts and how much she related to that lost feeling. I want to write for the other lost people and give them ways and ideas about how they can find themselves. I want to show people that we are all in this boat together and learning about yourself is probably the single most important thing to be done in our lives.
After all, we each have to live with ourselves for the rest of our days. We don’t get to kick ourselves out of our apartments or divorce ourselves when we are unhappy with how things have turned out.
- Are you going to be willing to learn about yourself? To dig deep and face the good and bad?
- Do you want to love yourself so much that you are able to love others even more?
- Are you going to open up and say, “Hey! I might be lost, but I am happy to find my path?”
That’s what I am doing here.
Stay with me.