Bad at Pretending

This is attempt 3865 at writing this post.

What a whirlwind of a year we have had in the Stephens household. I took on volunteer roles, our youngest had her first year of preschool, our oldest is typical TEEN-OMG-AGERing on the daily, my husband left his job, both of us have started new businesses this summer and some nights we barely get to say hello to each other before our heads hit the pillow. Oh, and in the midst of this, our house flooded. The entire basement flooded during the great “Flash Flood of 2018” and all our downstairs possessions are now upstairs while everything dries out and we figure out what the H-E-Double Hockey Sticks we are going to do. No insurance coverage = of course.

Some days it is so easy for me to focus on the negatives. We have had a few mishaps happen, but holy moly we have had a lot of great opportunities as well. I thank the gods every day that I married a handsome and handyman who gets along with every person he meets – he balances out my “I’m judging the shit out of you” face every single time. Please note: I’m not really judging you, I am probably thinking about my to-do list or wondering where the end of the universe really is. (Can we touch it? If we enter a black hole will we get some sort of “Interstellar” treatment, or will we just disintegrate? This is important.)

My mind is always going. It’s racing really.

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One Day You Wake Up & Realize You Don’t Know Everything

Perspective: One Day You Wake Up

My perspective:

Have you ever encountered someone who will fight tooth and nail to make you see their point of view? Or, maybe you were in a situation where a person is obviously wrong but is so damn sure they are right, they become angry?

Have you been that person?

If you have never been witness to those things, then you probably didn’t meet me when I was in my teens and 20’s.

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Tribeless

 

Tribes. They are everywhere, but my God, socializing as an adult is so awful sometimes and trying to permeate a tribe is like running through a brick wall.

I get it. None of us want to commit to each other. We have been hurt in the past – or have done the hurting – and we don’t have time for investing in people we don’t immediately see a reflection of ourselves in. We also see ourselves as shitty friends anyway – like, who wants to suddenly be friends with someone who has maybe one day a month to hang out?

I feel a little ragey and a little bit of sadness whenever I see the “tribe” quotes on social media. I am sure you have seen them, but if you haven’t let me show you what you’re missing:

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So, let me break it down for everyone. Apparently without a group of other like-minded people, we are weak, outcasts and basically too odd to fit.

I have no “tribe.”

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