Unbeautiful


I really should be working on touching up a client proposal this Sunday morning. But instead, I feel the need to furiously hash out this post.

I have been thinking about this for so damn long. It has taken me a while to get over the thought of embarrassing myself or my family, and I also had to figure out what it was I wanted everyone to take from this post.

I’m a whiner sometimes and you know it.

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You Don’t Know How Far She’s Come

You Don't Know How Far She's Come
You Don’t Know How Far She’s Come

It has taken me a long time to write this post.

I have been dealing with some pretty heavy negative self-image issues lately and every time I sat to write this post, I couldn’t get the words to flow from my heart to my fingertips.

Every time I write a blog post, I pour a lot of energy into what I want to convey to you readers. I sometimes walk around my kitchen-living room loop talking out loud to myself while I make sure the words come out perfectly. Sometimes when I am in bed at night I send myself little text messages with ideas or phrases I want to include in a blog post… because I know I can not rely on my sleep-deprived memory alone.

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Real Things Currently Getting Me Through Life


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“Spring is just around the corner” – I keep trying to convince myself that there is truth in that statement, but I am having a very difficult time with the last few weeks of winter.

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Love Yourself (Self-Praise & Loathing)

It has taken me nearly a week to sit down and write this post. Yeah, I have been busy, but that’s not the only reason this one was so hard to get out.

I learned this past week that I use negative self-talk to calm my nerves. For some reason I think that if I tell people about my flaws, my faults will seem to vanish or be ignored.

I completed my practical exam for my FIS (Fitness Instructor Specialist) certification that had expired many moons ago. This involved teaching my first full fitness class in almost just over three years. I had no idea I would be so nervous. Yeah, I am quite a bit out of practice and I think it was valid for me to be a bit anxious over the fact I was being graded on my delivery that day. I just had no idea how I was really being perceived when I thought joking about my faults was going to help my participants be comfortable, or understand me.

After the class was over – and I was nervous as hell about what I had just done – my Pro-trainer, who I have known for years, took me aside and said she was actually quite surprised to hear me speak about myself negatively and reminded me of something quite poignant:

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